Home Vs. Away

I find that being in a relationship with someone in the forces means there is often common ground with others. They might be in the same position or have previously been in the same position at some point in their life. This could be someone at work, a friend of a friend or more recently the hair dresser. Everyone has different experiences with some similarities, and there are a number of things you could talk about, but there's just one thing bothering me currently.

"No, I don't move to be with my partner, I am based here and this is where I stay - he can always come back to me. I would not move to be with him, I have a life too".

Now I am not saying this is the wrong view, I am not saying it is the right view. I am saying that I am struggling with this view.

I look at this view like 'these females are strong women who have found their place in the world and are unwilling to uproot what they have achieved for themselves. They don't want to lose the bonds they have with friends and their family is incredibly important.'

So what about me? I move to be with Michael. I have only recently moved flats because he's moved bases. Does this make me a weak, dependent female? Will I follow him for the rest of my life? Do I not know my place in the world, are my relationships not as strong or important?

I don't believe any of those things. I move to be with Michael because it is my choice. Because I would rather have an adventure than continue with the familiar. Because I want to know numerous cities like the back of my hand, and how am I going to do that if I don't move around? Because I enjoy life more when he is in it, and I would be unhappy with myself making the choice to not have him in it. I know I have a base at home in Devon and I always will - my friendships remain strong and the ties I have with my family are unquestionable. I know the people I want to make the effort with, and it's been a good weeding process for the one I don't. I am a strong independent woman, and the decisions I make are in the best interest of myself but also my relationship.

I don't regret any of the choices I have made. In fact, they have resulted in successful employment, and even a transfer to a job that I have wanted for a long time. If I hadn't moved to be with Michael, I would never have had the opportunities I am experiencing currently. Michael and I even talk about him being posted to other countries for a year and me getting to go along for the ride and experience that too; what an incredible opportunity. How could I pass up on an adventure of that magnitude?

Do you think I'm just being silly? That it's not something worth worrying about, because everyone is different and they will do what suits them. I am of that view, but I guess I also wanted to justify why I do what I do and make it clearer in my head.

Enough rambling, good night.