A Drop In The Ocean

It's been so long since I was last here that I couldn't even remember my password. I lost myself a little while ago, and this place, this little piece of me, was definitely forgotten. But lately I think I might be coming back. I've found myself thinking, ooh I could write about that; wouldn't that be nice to share; hmm I'd best take a photo of this. 

Which is nice. Really nice. 

I never wanted this blog to be a chore, which is why I just went. It became a bit of a burden that I couldn't continue to carry on with at that time. Please don't be offended, let me explain; in a job where everybody's actions and decisions are somehow your responsibility, there is a lot of pressure. I work well over my hours on a daily basis, I don't get lunch, I don't get a minute to think of myself or even go to the bathroom, and when I get home, I eat and I go to sleep. I have broken sleep when I worry about things, and it's hard to properly switch off. At the weekend I like to do nothing. Literally nothing. But that's hard when I feel like I'm wasting time. Or Michael and I end up going home to see family. Whilst I love doing that, and my nephew and niece are so incredibly important to me, it feels like there is never really a break, and never enough time to re-cooperate properly, just enough space to stay sane. 

So how long does one carry on like that? My job is meant to be a career, but if I carry on, it might break me. Do you wait until you're broken, then pick yourself up and put the parts back together? Or do you prevent yourself becoming broken? I think it has to be the latter, surely. But that is also a hard decision to make, and where do you go from there?

I've taken a detour. Back to this post. 

I have had some urges to get back to blogging and to share some things with you. I think today I will just leave it with this quote and the things already discussed, but I hope to be back real soon :) 

I also just read this post and love her honesty. 

Happy Wednesday!

Today, I got up, did some dishes from the night before, watched the gilmore girls (It was the really sad episode where Logan takes Rory to his parents house and they're really mean to her), bought a top from ArkOnline, came upstairs and started to read and write about the history of services for people with Learning Disabilities, got an unknown call that was confirming my placement within a child protection duty and assessment team! I'm very excited as this is the exact placement I wanted, right down to the tee. (Sorry, for those who do not know, I take a social work degree and a large part of that degree I spend on placement, this is just like having a full time job and not getting paid for it. You learn the skills you need to work effectively in the team, whilst continuing on with lots of reading and essays for uni). I called my mum, dad, shouted it around the house, text some friends who understand what I'm talking about and did a little victory dance. Since, I've tried to sit down at the computer again and write some more but I got a bit stuck. I spoke to a friend and her approach to the essay and she really helped clarify some issues I was having and recommended a couple of books - what a super star! Now, I can't decide whether to make fish pie ready for tea later as I have a basketball match I need to be cheering at, or continue with my work. I haven't got the correct books to carry on with this part of my work, but I am able to get them before/after cheer. Hmm.. I will be using this recipe for my fish pie, without the pea and mint dip though :)

What are you up to today?