It's been so long since I was last here that I couldn't even remember my password. I lost myself a little while ago, and this place, this little piece of me, was definitely forgotten. But lately I think I might be coming back. I've found myself thinking, ooh I could write about that; wouldn't that be nice to share; hmm I'd best take a photo of this.
Which is nice. Really nice.
I never wanted this blog to be a chore, which is why I just went. It became a bit of a burden that I couldn't continue to carry on with at that time. Please don't be offended, let me explain; in a job where everybody's actions and decisions are somehow your responsibility, there is a lot of pressure. I work well over my hours on a daily basis, I don't get lunch, I don't get a minute to think of myself or even go to the bathroom, and when I get home, I eat and I go to sleep. I have broken sleep when I worry about things, and it's hard to properly switch off. At the weekend I like to do nothing. Literally nothing. But that's hard when I feel like I'm wasting time. Or Michael and I end up going home to see family. Whilst I love doing that, and my nephew and niece are so incredibly important to me, it feels like there is never really a break, and never enough time to re-cooperate properly, just enough space to stay sane.
So how long does one carry on like that? My job is meant to be a career, but if I carry on, it might break me. Do you wait until you're broken, then pick yourself up and put the parts back together? Or do you prevent yourself becoming broken? I think it has to be the latter, surely. But that is also a hard decision to make, and where do you go from there?
I've taken a detour. Back to this post.
I have had some urges to get back to blogging and to share some things with you. I think today I will just leave it with this quote and the things already discussed, but I hope to be back real soon :)
I also just read this post and love her honesty.