A Drop In The Ocean

It's been so long since I was last here that I couldn't even remember my password. I lost myself a little while ago, and this place, this little piece of me, was definitely forgotten. But lately I think I might be coming back. I've found myself thinking, ooh I could write about that; wouldn't that be nice to share; hmm I'd best take a photo of this. 

Which is nice. Really nice. 

I never wanted this blog to be a chore, which is why I just went. It became a bit of a burden that I couldn't continue to carry on with at that time. Please don't be offended, let me explain; in a job where everybody's actions and decisions are somehow your responsibility, there is a lot of pressure. I work well over my hours on a daily basis, I don't get lunch, I don't get a minute to think of myself or even go to the bathroom, and when I get home, I eat and I go to sleep. I have broken sleep when I worry about things, and it's hard to properly switch off. At the weekend I like to do nothing. Literally nothing. But that's hard when I feel like I'm wasting time. Or Michael and I end up going home to see family. Whilst I love doing that, and my nephew and niece are so incredibly important to me, it feels like there is never really a break, and never enough time to re-cooperate properly, just enough space to stay sane. 

So how long does one carry on like that? My job is meant to be a career, but if I carry on, it might break me. Do you wait until you're broken, then pick yourself up and put the parts back together? Or do you prevent yourself becoming broken? I think it has to be the latter, surely. But that is also a hard decision to make, and where do you go from there?

I've taken a detour. Back to this post. 

I have had some urges to get back to blogging and to share some things with you. I think today I will just leave it with this quote and the things already discussed, but I hope to be back real soon :) 

I also just read this post and love her honesty. 

I had a bad dream last night and just wanted a hug from Michael this morning, but it was the first of three night shifts, so I won't get my hug for a little while

I very much believe this. I think this is how I got to where I am now.

I know I only did a quotes post yesterday, but I am extra loving this today.

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Quotes #5

Oh it's that time again! I love these posts :)

I could go on for longer but I think I'll stop there :) 

Blog Every Day In May-Day 8: My Piece Of Advice

For all the other days I have managed to not peek at the next days hint so I could trick myself into blogging the actual honest answer, but I have to admit that I peeked at day 8's prompt on day 7. That said, it didn't help me in the slightest. I'm stuck to offer you blind advice, I've been taught quite strictly not to give advice and treat myself more as a sounding board, so this one did not come easily to me.

Instead, I looked at my pinterest board and had a bit of a rummage around and compiled a couple of things I tend to live by. There are also more on my 'about me' page, that you should certainly have a browse of.

1. nope, never. I have felt regret for not being nice enough though. 

2. this taught me to not be afraid of showing that I'm happy and being proud of being happy doing things - from a silly dance or asking that burning question. Once you're happy with you, others will be happy too, and maybe you could help them be a bit more happy with themselves. 

 

3. Crying yourself to sleep really works at the time, but it will be better in the morning. I don't know how and I don't know why, but the evening really gives your emotions and feelings a different edge. I can honestly say that I have felt different about something every single time I've woken up. 

4. I literally live my life by this, not because it's a quote written on a tin lid. But because of it's message. I'm peculiar in that I don't need others approval and I don't judge my looks/weight/progress/whatever on anyone else, I am my own harshest critic, and if it's okay for me, then it's okay - I don't need you to tell me too. So if I was mean when no one was looking, I'd know I was a mean person, and I wouldn't be okay with that.

but mostly

5. if you know you are true to you, and your intentions are never bad.. who could bad mouth you? and what would their words be worth if they did? I left bitchiness behind in year 11. I haven't had an argument about something someone said about me and whoever else whenever, in a long time. and it feels good. I know that I'm a good person, my friends and my family know that too, and that's all I need.

I think my confidence came from there. I think I became happy in my own skin because I like who I am and it's something I can continually develop. Once you don't care if someone thinks something bad about you that's untrue, you can focus on being you and the best version of you you can be. And then you'll enjoy your life more, which I guess is my advice...

p.s.

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