It's the start of something new

It's a good job I like learning because being a newly qualified social worker means I have another year of being assessed... 

Check out all those books and that paperwork. It's only the beginning! 

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Have you seen Dizzee Rascal's new video? It is clever and I like it. I think you should watch and enjoy it too.

So I have some great news! I got a full-time grown up job! I have been struggling if I'm honest, I've been to a few interviews and none of them quite worked out. So I decided to apply for some jobs that were advertised near Michael's army base - which is 3 hours away from home. It was a brave move, because it not only means I'd have to relocate, it also means Michael and I will be moving in together, that we'll be renting (boo), and that I'll officially turn into an adult - no more pretending.

Well. I went for the interview the day after we flew back from Prague. slightly jet-lagged and more than tired, I came out thinking that I could have done a little better but that I hadn't messed anything up. I waited for agesssss for their decision - over a week! But they explained this was due to the fact that the team I chose wasn't a viable option for their service anymore but they still wanted me so they wanted to figure out where I could be placed. I'm really pleased with the actual job, as there were two choices and I got my top one, woohoo! I haven't got a contract or anything yet, so lets hope it all still goes ahead else I'll be back with my tail between my legs, eh?

But now there is a lot to figure out - what stuff we have, what stuff we'll need to get, how we'll get it there, what we can afford, where we're going to live etc. but the Queen of organisation has it down, and clearly made a pinterest board already. Oh and lists galore are going down too, I do love a good list! Unfortunately this might take a lot of my focus at the moment so there may be a few 'moving' features that I've discovered and want to share, but we'll see :)

Do you have any tips for me?!

Day 20, Monday: Get real. Share something you're struggling with right now.

I am struggling with not being able to plan for the rest of my life.

What am I doing after I finish uni?
When should I start looking for a job?
Do I want to start looking for a job?
What kind of job am I interested in?
Where should I look for a job?
Where will I live if I'm looking away from home?
How far is too far?
Where does Michael fit in to all of this?

I don't know the next step, and I don't like not knowing the next step to be able to plan around. Michael says it's fun and exciting.. but when it means I'll be living at home with my dad, with a masters degree.. and I'm in a job that I'm over-qualified for. Hmph. And Michael, being in Afghanistan until September. Do I start before he gets back? Do I ask for that extra month off? He's just said that he'll probably be the most free from October on, I can't be starting a new job and asking to take my leave immediately. So do I not get a job until after Christmas?

WHAT DO I DO.

I can hear my boss in my head saying 'don't do anything just for a boy' but Michael isn't just any boy, he's THE boy, he's the best boy, I'd do anything for him. and then I hear my mum saying 'you've been working really hard for four years straight, I think you should take a bit of a break', and my sister saying (more generally rather than in relation to this) 'enjoy the time you get with Michael now before the rest of real-life gets to you'. And all of that tells me that the real world, and real life, can wait a little bit longer. I have so much time to be a social worker and start whatever qualification is in fashion (NQSW/ASYE), but I won't have this time with Michael again. But if Michael wasn't around, then I'd be jumping straight into it, but does that mean that's what I should do, really? I honestly don't think so. I think I could have any kind of job for a little while, I have support work for over summer to tide me over a bit. Michael is my priority at the moment. Perhaps that means, in the grand scheme of things, that the job that's meant for me isn't available until next year? Perhaps it's all already planned out? WHO KNOWS. I've already applied for one job and not got it, now I've applied for another, and there is another that I'm considering applying for. Maybe I should just do these two applications and see what happens? Michael doesn't even know if he's back for good in September or sometime earlier, but I'm personally working towards September because I can't let my heart hope that it's any earlier. So how can I let this decision ride on that? The army has never been great to Michael, it always messes him around, so I can't and don't expect anything to go perfectly this time either. He tells me not to base any of my decisions on him and to do what's best for me, but what's best for me is what's best for both of us, so how can I not partially base it on him?

I don't know. I honestly do not know.

OH YEAHHHHHHHH

I GOT THE JOB!!!! 

So I had an interview on Bank Holiday Monday for a PA job to do alongside my masters next year so that I have some money to live off of and I've just been offered the job today!! Finally, things are looking up. Just waiting on the sub warden application deadline/interview/selection process to start and get gears in motion. Lets hope June is better than May was :)

here's a ridiculously happy photo of myself. haha.