Big things are going on around here. Which actually just means michaels away, because I usually need a project when I have a lot of time to myself. He's currently on a promotions course which is great, but our little flat is feeling a lot bigger and emptier than usual.
I've been on more training today which is always a nice day out of the office. My job actually felt manageable before the weekend, and I'm desperately trying to remember how I felt (I told my mum I'd had a great day!). I'm hoping that I'm slowly finding my way in the world of social work, but I'm also spending a lot of useless time hating on it in my head. Which I need to let go of in order to have a chance at being happy.
I'm struggling to like something that keeps me away from Michael so much, is so fast paced, and gives me so much responsibility and stress. I'm not sure if the job is for me, in all honesty. When I go out on visits and actually work with families, it puts into perspective why I'm doing it, but being bogged down with processes and paperwork is more than half of the rubbish battle. I will stick it out for a year. Mostly because I am being assessed this year. Thinking about it now though I should be grateful for that tie in. A year is plenty of time to settle in and give me enough experince to be able to make an informed judgement, if I didn't have that year, how long would I have given it really?
and of course, and probably most importantly, this job has given me the opportunity to live with Michael, which wouldn't have happened for another couple of years otherwise. And for that I'm incredibly grateful, as I love that boy with all my heart and I love coming home to him... When he's actually around ;)
Sorry for the rambling but it helps to get it out, I think myself round in circles.